Feeling 2005

This is from an old LiveJournal post (LIVEJOURNAL YOU GUYS YOU REMEMBER THAT SHIT?) I made ten years ago today.

"After the show, people were milling about in the lobby, and I handed my sister my shopping bags and said I had to pee. I went upstairs (the Canon theatre has like, this landing and two staircases leading upward from it, in opposite directions. I went up one of them to get to the upstairs bathroom), and at this point, the show had been over for about fifteen minutes, so there was practically no one in there.

So I'm just washing my hands when I hear some guy blowing into a microphone, and realize that there are speakers in the washroom. I still had to use the dryer and fix my face, so I was in there for about another five minutes, listening to the speaker, which was blaring something about, "Thanks so much for coming! Blah blah blah presentation, blah blah blah Israel bank bonds. Blah blah blah richoldpeoplecakes."

I left the washroom and came out onto the upstairs landing. When I looked down, at the lower landing that I would have had to cross to get back downstairs, I saw that they were making this presentation in front of about a hundred rich old Jewish people, and the guy on the microphone with a pointer and a pie chart was like, all set up on there. Right where I had to walk past. Totally doing his thing, with everyone staring at him. It's hard to describe, but it was like a play going on, and me having to walk out from stage left and into the audience.

You get me now?

So I stood there for like, a second, wondering what my chances were of running past him so fast that no one would see me ("George? Did you just see a brown streak?"), and just as I decided that they were slim to none, one of the ushers from the show walked up to me to ask if I needed help. I was like - "Um. Is that the only way for me to get downstairs?" Of course it was, so the usher had to escort me down the stairs. Past the guy. Into the crowd of rich old Jewish people. By the way, I was wearing jeans with a hot-chocolate stain on one knee, a brown and orange hoodie, and carrying a green messenger bag covered in pins. Need I repeat? Rich old Jewish people in fur!

The show, however, was so great! All of you need to see it. Libby from Sabrina the Teenage Witch was Nessa Rose, but I suspect that I'm only one who's excited about that."

All I have to say is that in ten years, my life hasn't changed much. Also, reading your own old diary entries is MOTHERFUCKING DEPRESSING. Why do I even have any friends? Let's not go down that spiral.

Other Random Facts About My Past:

* When I worked for Sunrise, we had the same courier guy come in to pick up our weekly packages, and once, we told him he looked like Elvis. After that, whenever he was leaving, he always said, "Thankyouverramuch" and it made me laugh EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME.

* I was really, annoyingly obsessed with movies and television in 2005. I paid good money to see the remake of The Longest Yard, with Adam Sandler! Again, HOW THE FUCK DID I EVEN HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

* I chronicled my OK Cupid dates and BOY HOWDY are they fucking horrible.