Friday, 24 July 2015

Jack, get back.

Okay, so Stephen and I are watching Footloose (the original 1984 one, not the remake), and I decided to look up Footloose trivia. Apparently Kevin Bacon sometimes bribes wedding DJs not to play the song, because people expect him to dance like in the movie.

Think about that for a second.

That is THE WORST. No, really, think about it! Imagine the scene near the beginning where he's all mad and dancing by himself in... I don't know, is it a barn? I think it's a barn. So he's like swinging from the rafters and doing backflips and all kinds of crazy bullshit, and like, 100% of the time it's a double (more trivia: the dance double for Kevin Bacon in Footloose was married to the dance double for Jennifer Beals in Flashdance). But then it's 30 years later, and you're Kevin Bacon at your nephew's wedding or whatever, and Footloose comes on.

From the first strains of "Doon do-doon, do-doon, DO-doon, do-doon...", the hair stands up on the back of your neck. Now you only have two options - you either awkwardly disappoint hundreds of people looking expectantly at you by helplessly shaking your head and then running out of the room, OR YOU FUCKING DANCE LIKE A GODDAMN CHAMPION.

And then imagine trying to dance and failing spectacularly. Like, you try to swing from a chandelier and miss grabbing it by like, three feet, and falling flat on your face.

BOTH COMPLETELY TERRIBLE CHOICES. I can't even think about it anymore.

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